Hi, my name is Navreen. And here’s my story, it began when I was 3, an assault and then there were multiple incidents after that from the age of 15 to 17 by family members, by partners of parents and people who were responsible for protecting me.
I have no concept of safety, I always looked for it in other people and have been disappointed in so many ways.
Over the past couple years I decided to write my own story, to decide what my life will look like and started making decisions one day at a time that fit the idea of the life I had. The one free of abuse.
I have given up mother, father, sisters, brothers, uncles, lovers, friends and acquaintances who decided to keep in touch with my abusers.
I have a beautiful puppy who has me caught up with all the love I didn’t get my whole life. I will never be short on love.
As a result, I started to feel safe as I eliminated the sources that threaten my safety, I have a home within me. I inhabit this body that I have so much thank for. It has carried my grief, rage and never ending love and hope.
For those wonder if you’ve been born into is your fate it’s not, it doesn’t have to be. I have worked hard to get here, to seek out safe people and to give up people who were only an illusion of safety. It may seem like there’s no escape but if you just find one thing that you can hold onto, take it. It’ll lead you to more opportunities.
Not having a family brings you the freedom to create your own.
Often times I hear that I’m defined by my trauma which is true to an extent, I was 3 I had no personality, I didn’t even get a chance to develop one. It’s unfair in so many ways.
My drive to be there for people when they need people can be traced back to nobody being there for me as a child. I am still as courageous and curious as I would’ve been minus the trauma. But that’s scar that’ll fade with time but never go away. It will always be a tender spot and I’ll always treat it with self love.
I refuse to hide my scars, it is a part of me as much as I wish it wasn’t and a significant one. I am a child sexual abuse survivor, a professional, a student, a dog mom, a traveller, a reader, a dancer and so much more. I am whole that is greater than the sum of its parts.
Photo above: Navreen in our Red Rose Set